You don't have to be anxious or depressed to benefit from psychotherapy, you may simply want to share difficult feelings. People enter therapy for a variety of reasons, including:
- An upsetting event such as divorce, a relationship problem, job loss or illness
- Feeling panic or overwhelmed by stress
- Feeling plagued by guilt and/or shame
- A lack of direction or purpose
- A bereavement or significant ending
- The feeling of being at a crossroads in life
- A desire to uncover the unconscious motives of self-sabotaging behaviour
- Unresolved trauma requiring EMDR therapy
Therapy is not about seeking advice. It is about connecting with your own feelings and drivers, enabling you to better understand yourself. With my support and gentle questioning, you can explore your own beliefs. Together we identify and challenge thoughts that are irrational or self sabotaging. You are encouraged to reach your own insights and decisions.
What psychotherapy or counselling can offer that family and friends can't
Family and friends may help but because we are emotionally involved with them we often edit what we share and don't get to the root of what we are feeling. We might want to protect them from our distress or we might perceive them as the source of that distress. Alternatively, loved ones may try and downplay or even reject our feelings because our discomfort upsets them and they want us to be OK. Unless your friends and family are trained listeners, they may interrupt with similar problems of their own or offer advice influenced by their own experience, not yours.
As a psychotherapist, I provide a safe, non-judgmental, confidential space in which you can explore your feelings. As I am empathic, but not emotionally involved in your issues, I can provide an objective listening ear. I am trained to listen and to be fully present. I use observation and gentle questioning to help you in your journey of discovery. While I don't advise you, I support your decision-making process by reflecting back what I hear and pointing out inconsistencies, confusion or contradictions. If you're feeling powerless and struggling to make simple decisions, this process can help you to regain a sense of personal power.
"When will you begin that long journey into yourself?" ~ Rumi
"I wish I could show you when you are lonely or in darkness the astonishing light of your own being." ~ Hāfez
Just hearing yourself express your thoughts out loud can help to bring clarity to an issue. Having that material gently reflected back can help you identify potential distortions in your thinking as well as recurring patterns and themes. I will point out and challenge negative thinking by questioning its validity and perhaps offering a different perspective. I can help you link feelings back to the past to uncover origins that may have been hidden and family scripts you may not be aware of. If you were not heard or mirrored as a child, you will be heard and mirrored in session.
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us." ~ Marianne Williamson
"If you believe it will work out, you'll see opportunities. If you believe it won't, you will see obstacles." ~ Wayne Dyer
How I work
My training as a transpersonal integrative psychotherapist allows me to use tools and practices from a variety of theoretical models. One of these is the psychodynamic model which explores the influences of childhood and the birth family on the psyche and how those experiences manifest in the present. I work intuitively, guided by what you say and tuning into what you don’t say but might express non-verbally. I may use guided visualisation, meditation, drawing and dreams to help you uncover what influences and motivates you. However, you are in charge. We work at your pace. I also offer various strategies for anxiety including grounding exercises, breath work, tapping (emotional freedom technique) and the principles of the law of attraction and A Course in Miracles. I am also trained in EMDR (eye movement desensitisation and reprocessing), an evidence-based technique for working with trauma. Early trauma may not be in conscious memory but the body still holds it.
By providing support and guidance on your therapeutic journey, I can help you as you explore what affects your peace of mind, alleviate your distress and move towards positive change and the realisation of your full potential.
"Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
Psychotherapy and counselling is confidential. Your material is shared only with my supervisors as part of good clinical practice. I abide by the United Kingdom Council for Psychotherapy (UKCP) code of professional conduct which states that the psychotherapist should not make unjustifiable statements relating to particular therapies or therapists or include testimonials from clients in any advertising material. To be confidential, testimonials must be anonymous and could therefore be interpreted as unjustifiable statements.
I am listed on the website of UKCP.
What type of therapy you need
If you’re confused by all the information out there and wondering whether you need CBT, EMDR, TA (or indeed any of the industry acronyms), existential psychiatrist Dr. Irvin Yalom says "it’s the relationship that heals". He believes the bond between therapist and client is key to the healing process. Feeling heard and understood is what stays with you. If you find a therapist you can connect with, in a convenient location, at a price you can afford, you have the essentials. If you're uncertain whether psychotherapy or counselling is right for you, you are welcome to call for a no obligation 15 minute chat so I can answer your questions and address any concerns. For confidentiality reasons, I prefer to speak to the person intending to come to therapy, rather than a third party such as a partner or parent. I do not answer calls from withheld numbers.
Issues I work with
I provide counselling and psychotherapy from an office in Weybridge, close to Cobham, Walton on Thames and Byfleet. I also work remotely, according to client preferences. I work with adults whose issues have included:
- Adoption issues
- Attachment issues
- Childhood trauma
- Chronic health conditions
- Family/relationship issues
- Health anxiety
- Life or relationship crisis
- Low self-esteem
- Panic attacks
- Rape and sexual abuse
- Suicide of a loved one
- Trauma - this can manifest as flashbacks or intrusive imagery
- Workplace stress and issues
This is not an exhaustive list.
It's important to note, there are no time limits in therapy. You can bring problems that are unfolding now or something you’ve suppressed for years that is demanding expression. As a bereavement counsellor, I worked with people whose loss was decades ago but they had not felt able to process their grief before. The important thing is not when something happened but how you feel about it now.
"It's never too late to have a happy childhood." ~ Tom Robbins
Where I work
I work both in person and online/by telephone for clients who prefer to work remotely. I offer in person counselling and psychotherapy in Surrey. My office in Weybridge is close to Byfleet, Cobham, Claygate, Epsom, Guildford, Hersham, Kingston, Leatherhead, Oxshott, Surbiton, Thames Ditton, Walton-on-Thames and Woking.
Please note, I do not offer a crisis service. I will respond to calls or emails during normal business hours but if you need urgent help, please contact your GP, go to any A&E department and ask to see the duty psychiatrist or call the Samaritans’ free 24 hour helpline on 116 123.